Postal III

[PC.] - Review: The violent black humour of Postal returns, but is it still king of the mental crap?
The Details
  • Title: Postal III
  • Web: Running with Scissors
  • Developer: Akella
  • Publisher: Akella
  • Released: 17 February, 2012
  • Platforms: PC
  • Reviewed On: PC

Postal 3 is a game about, well, nothing really. You play as ‘Dude’ and that’s about as deep as the story goes. Postal 3 starts where Postal 2 left off, Dude has somehow escaped the apocalypse and is making his way to Catharsis, some random town, somewhere… The ‘story’ is told by Dude as he narrates everything that has happened to him to some guy doing an interview. Seriously, there’s no story here really. You start on the bridge to Catharsis, it acts as a tutorial showing you the basic crap you need to know/will almost certainly already know. It pokes fun at a few things with some cheesy joke and you get to murder some zombies and army guys. The final part sees you in an impossible situation with only one choice, it did make me smile as it’s just typical cheese. Once you’re past this point the main ‘story’ begins.

As Mr Dude continues to narrate the story things go from strange to WTFISGOINGON!?!?! pretty damn quick. You’re given a few choices where the story has the chance to branch out. These come in the form of picking a side, or more the point, choosing who not to murder. The first choice happens when some ‘tree huggers’ decide to storm the building you’re in and you have the choice between helping them out, or helping the Police out. Helping cops takes you down the good route and you get to play cops and robbers. There is a third option however, murder EVERYONE. The levels branch out down either the good path or the bad path depending on these choices, the good path is always helping the Police and going ‘postal’ has the same results as helping the bad guys (Even if you kill them all).

Postal 3 is played in 3rd person over the shoulder as opposed to 1st person as Postal 2 was. It can at time be awkward, especially when aiming, which wouldn’t really be a problem in a 1st person view. The movement controls are pretty smooth and my only complaint is the lack of a jump as hitting space causes Dude to take cover. He can vault over objects, but this requires going into cover behind them, which isn’t very fluid, it also means you can’t vault over railings and fences as you can’t take cover behind them. Anyone who’s played Postal 2 will know that the amount of random crap lying around in the levels was immense. You could climb up to pretty much anything and find little stashes of goodies up there. Well there’s none of that now as he can’t jump. It’s a little disappointing.

Whilst we’re on the subject of the cover system, well, it’s pretty pointless. I don’t find it useful and the levels aren’t designed around the function or even with it in mind. It seems as though it was tacked on at the end. Also firing from behind cover is a pain in the ass, I often find Dude doesn’t shoot where the reticule is, or that the reticule moves when he goes to fire which renders the whole thing useless. I’d much rather have the jump back and a crouch, which is also missing for some reason?

Melee combat is another area that lacks allot. It’s unresponsive and you tend to just whack thin air with your melee weapons. Again, I put this down to the choice in camera angle, it’s simply too difficult to judge where you’re attacking with a melee weapon and even when you’re right in front of someone, you often miss. Whilst where on the melee subject, who remembers that incredible kick in Postal 2? KABOOM! Yeah, well it’s gone, it’s been replaced with a sissy kick. Booting people in the face or crotch no longer has an effect (in Postal 2 they’d grab their faces or groin) and booting doors open just doesn’t have that same POW about it. In fact, kicking a person makes no sound at all, what’s with that!?

I don’t want it to sound like Postal 3 isn’t a fun game, it is and it’s hilarious shooting people’s body parts off, or peeing on them till they puke, but some of the charm in Postal 2 has been lost here. The lack of free-roam is a big minus, the levels are much smaller and there’s nothing to explore within them. But it’s still an amusing game and definitely unique. The branching paths I guess give it some replayability, but not to the extent of Postal 2 which I played through numerous times and never to the same approach twice. But it’s still a fun game, and though it has a few bugs here and there (other reviews make out it’s terrible, this hasn’t been my experience and I can honestly say I’ve experienced more bugs in Guild Wars 2) it’s still amusing.


If it’s not your taste in humour (which quite possibly it isn’t) and gay cowboys riding intoxicated rhinos mauling people’s guts out sounds like hilarious fun, then this game is worth giving a chance. I’m not sure how well it plays on low-end PC’s, but on my rig it runs smooth with everything maxed (See here for more rig info) though it can get quite intense when there’s a crap load of enemies all shooting the meat out of one another.

This isn’t an award-winning game, it doesn’t have brilliant graphics, they’re reasonable, but definitely not up there with the new games out today. This game certainly isn’t for everyone, but if you’re into dodgy things, aren’t a graphics whore,  are laid back and have a very dark sense of humour, you’ll almost certainly have a giggle or two with Postal 3! I’m going to give it a reasonable 6/10, mainly because of its lack of free-roam and the silly new camera angle. A jolly fun game though!



  • Gay Cowboys? On Rhinos? Whom are intoxicated!? Amazing.
  • Silly sense of humour, very dark and sick. If that's your thing, you'll love it.
  • Buggy as f**k. Seriously.
  • Running with Scissors have disowned it.
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Web Master at CoupesCorner
Nathan is lumbered with all the technical stuff behind CoupesCorner. If stuff breaks, it's always someone else's fault, but he'll fix it, because he's a pretty awesome guy.

Nathan loves tactical shooters, RPG's and Bro-Ops games. Some all-time favourites of his are Black and White 2, Postal 2, the Rainbow Six series and Pokemon. He also loves playing guitar and fishing with his dad, when Lozzy isn't busy making him do stuff...
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