Rambling in the Corner

[Blog] Phil0sphy asks NaytoE what the greatest FPS ever is, and the ensuing conversation makes some interesting discoveries.

I was having a chat earlier with my gaming buddy, Phil0sphy. He’s always an interesting chap, full of nonsense and brain vomit, it makes gaming sessions an enjoyable past-time. But enough of the Bromance, today he asked me a somewhat unexpected and also slightly ridiculous question: “What do you think is the best FPS of all time?” Well, how can you answer that question? The transcript of the ensuing conversation follows.

*WARNING* The following transcript contains content that may be offensive to fanboys and general butt-kisses. Do not continue if you feel the need to defend everything you’re fond of by silencing and discrediting others opinions.


Phil0sphy: “What do you think is the best FPS of all time?”

NaytoE: “Postal 2”

phil0sphy: “Not Half Life 2?”

NaytoE: “No way, not a chance. I thought half-Life2 was just a bog standard shooter. It lacked a real story (lets face it, they haven’t got a clue where any of it is going), there was some good puzzle elements, but they were very very few, all it really had going for it was its graphics, and graphics alone don’t make a good game.

Yes, it was intriguing at first, but then the episodes were boring and unfinished. In fact, Valve may be the first developer to start the whole “Start it and never finish it” trend that is currently swamping the games industry.

But, the story was just so…. meh. I’ll admit, I had fun, but I also had fun in other games too. I don’t think it deserves all the praise it gets. The shooting mechanics were massively dated too, the guns had no feeling at all and no weight.

Actually, I’ve just had an equal amount of fun playing Aliens: Colonial Marines. It’s not actually as bad of a game as everyone said it was. Sure, graphics aren’t great in parts, but it’s been fun so far (minus the human enemies, they suck balls!).

Oh, and Postal 2 was a joke by the way.

Wait… Actually… Scratch that. Lets look at it objectively.

It’s a sandbox game, has some quite sophisticated AI for the time, people move around the world of their own accord and do their own thing, going to the bank and stuff. It has loads of weaponry which all feel great. There’s some excellent, unique mechanics in the game, for example, to escape the prison cell you throw a match at the fire sprinkler to set off the fire alarm and escape. It’s fun, you can piss on people too, it’s possibly the greatest game ever created.

And for the date it was made, wow, it certainly did a lot of things other games didn’t do, you had total freedom over your own actions. Unlike Half-Life 2 which is simply a train ride through some nice scenery.”

Phil0sphy: “I actually think for the time Half Life 2 graphically aged fairly fast, if you look at it now the textures are sub-par and lots of them are stretched. The animation however is fantastic, even now, facial animation as well for the time was fantastic and the physics for the time were mind-blowing.

I do love the gameplay I won’t lie, I found at the time that the best parts, the most immersive were during gameplay rather than during the “cut-scene” moments. The AI was extremely good at times (although not always) and the pacing of the game is brilliant, but like you I found that the story was a complete mess and didn’t make much sense. It felt like they didn’t know what the fuck they were doing.”

NaytoE: “Nah, the physics were nothing new, it’s just havoc slapped on. Doom3 had rag-dolls. So did FartCry. The see-saw puzzle was fun, and the ones with the swings and pullies to get the secret crate stash. But that was about it. It just felt, bland.

AI in the source engine is just bog standard point, shoot, take cover at pre-defined spot. I found it boring, especially when compared with something like Postal 2, which had the characters speak to each other, get into fights, mug one another, was so funny to just stand back and watch. If you watch the combine in HL2, they do nothing. Literally nothing. Also the civilians, once they’ve said their lines, that’s it. You can stand there for an hour and nothing else happens.”

Phil0sphy: “Colonial Marines I enjoyed as well but in terms of games based on the alien franchise, Isolation shits over everything before it. To be honest, I really enjoyed Aliens vs Predator as well.

Postal 2 was fucking brilliant, ahead of it’s time, just like soldier of fortune was.

And that’s true, Doom 3 had physics before Half-Life 2 and FarCry was the first example I remember of physics and that water as well!”

NaytoE: “OMFG, FarCry’s water. I came so hard I blew a hole in my pants!”

Phil0sphy: “ Same here!

I suppose when you look at it from a wider standpoint Half-Life 2 was a pretty average fps.”

NaytoE: “That’s my point. Doesn’t mean I don’t love it, because I do, but it don’t think it deserves the amount of praise it gets.”

Phil0sphy: “I remember owning FarCry and I think I owned a 3dfx card (could have been something else possibly nVidia) but it ran at like 10 fps.

The water though, it was the tits. I remember enjoying far cry up until the mutants and then it irritated the piss out of me. Same with Crysis, great game until the second part.”

NaytoE: “I had an nvidia geforce 4 I think?

YES! The mutants ruined that game so much!”

Phil0sphy: “Fucking mutants! Yeah that’s what I had.”

NaytoE: “I mean, sneaking around the islands and occasionally causing chaos was so much fun! But the mutants. Good God, boring!”

Phil0sphy: “Yup, ruined the game for me. I don’t even like the modern far crys mate tbh, too much bloat.”

NaytoE: “Yeah, FarCry 4, I played loz’s, exactly the same as 3, nothing new. The same animations and everything. The bushes and trees are re-skins, the models just have slightly new textures, it honestly looks like a texture mod of farcry 3”

Phil0sphy: “I agree, graphics not even that impressive to me, looked last gen. And the gameplay sucked, I got bored in like 5 minutes. Story sucked too, nothing pulled me in.”

NaytoE: “Honest to God, I could not believe it. If it was released pre-Xbox 360, it would have been an expansion pack (remember those?)”

Phil0sphy: “I agree, but that’s Ubi for you, it’s same with their Creed series, just push the same shit out time and time again. Although Unity is the best looking game I have seen this gen.

FarCry 3 sucked as well to be honest.

And 2.”

NaytoE: “2 sucked balls. That god damn AI. Jesus tits, it was so gay and ruined any chance of being immersed. And the way the checkpoints re-spawned every 2 minutes. You literally turned around, took 3 steps and the enemies were back.”

Phil0sphy: “They based their entire game around one mechanic, fire, but forgot to put anything else in the game worth using.

Literally, the fire looked great, the game fucking sucked.”

NaytoE: “Yes, yes indeed!

Dude, that was an epic conversation with the beautiful conclusion that Half-Life 2 is over-rated and that FarCry 4 is a texture mod!”

Phil0sphy: “Yes, Half-Life 2 overrated and FarCry 4 texture mod!.” 

NaytoE: “And Postal 2 could be the best FPS ever?”

As you can clearly see, the conclusion is shocking, mind blowing and could possibly change the course of history. Though we never did decide what the best FPS of all time is, we do hope you enjoyed reading our ramblings. Thank you for reading Ramblings in the Corner and see you soon!


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